This is so I can look back and know I've felt this way before or, reassess ideas I once had.
Once again I am attempting to write the story I have been planning for almost 5 years now.
It's evolved so much since then. In fact, it's evolved so much that the only parts that are the same are the characters. I am determined to complete it, but the hardest part is starting. I can't even write the first words. I've written out the plan, I've doodled out the characters, and there's nothing more I want than to write it all out... but I can't.
I'm laying writing this blog diagonally on a double bed in the house of two of my current best friends, Lucas and Luis.
I love them to bits. I did originally like Luis a tad more than friends, but after he 'friendzoned' me, that kind of faded. That was only a week ago. I do not get my brain. Of course for the first two days I was incredibly upset, I sat round my own house hating myself and doing nothing at all to the point where I had to come back and see them both. I haven't left since and I just feel completely neutral.
So now that I'm magically fine with the outcome of my position here... I want to become a new me.
I want to be the kind of person that is an inspiration, I want to be someone who finds themselves beautiful but doesn't attract any person until they know me. I hate looking at myself and feeling disgusted, but hey, pretty sure everyone feels like that.
I'm going to post a photo for every blog I post so I can see my gradual change as I grow up, if I actually manage to keep the blog going.
...T...
